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| HEADLINES |
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| ERAP.COM
on sale on Ebay!!! |
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 Today,
on Ebay, the domain name www.erap.com has been put up on the
auction block for the whopping sum of US $1 Million; ending
the website's brief and tumultuous history. Erap.com used to
be the official website of former Philippine president Joseph
Estrada. The now defunct side once featured such popular features
as "Get a Jueteng Franchise," "Da President's
Online Poker and Mahjong," and "Erap's Bodacious Babes."
The site also won various awards during its brief run such as
"Porno Master's Award," "Marcos Loyalist Award
for Graft and Corruption," "Top 100 Ugliest Sites,"
and the "Chinese Mafia's Choice for #1 Business Website."
To check on the validity of the report, Wanker reporters logged
on to www.erap.com. We were greeted with the words "Sorry,
this page no longer exists." From the bottom of our hearts,
we at wanker say that this site will be missed. |
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| Wanker,
the Philippine's newest e-tabloid opens to rave reviews. |
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| MANILA -- July 20, 2001
marked the first day of operations for Wanker (www.wanker.netfirms.com),
the Philippines' newest e-tabloid. Featuring riveting stories
such as the mating habits of single-testicled Tondo alley cats,
the shoddy quality of local condoms and a barely-there pictorial
featuring Judy Ann Santos frolicking in the sandy beaches of
Boracay; the inaugural issue of Wanker garnered heaps of praise.
A local newspaper editor who wished to be anonymous declared
Wanker as "the beginning of the age of yellow journalism
in Philippine media." Mang Randy, an illiterate used
book vendor gave the website his two thumbs up approval.Wanker
has promised to update its site "at least every week."
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| CONSUMER GUIDE |
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| From
unscrupulous motherboard vampires to cheap RAM. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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| Reverse
brain drain. wanker examines the influx of foreign
idiots to the Philippine entertainment industry |
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watch out!!! they're
making the industry stupid, one import at a time! |
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| Gringo,
Pro-ERAP, Pro-ROTC, plain stupid!!! |
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| In the July 15 issue of the
Philippine Star, Senator Honasan, when asked about his views on ROTC
said that the mandatory military training program should not be abolished.
His reasons for saying so were "...in order to instill self-discipline
and patriotism in the face of internal strife..." When asked
if staging coups, destabilizing the government and having the personal
hygiene and personality of a sewer rat were examples of "self-discipline"
and "patriotism," the honorable senator declined to comment.
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| EDITORIAL |
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| To
buy or not to buy? Pirated discs and CD's. |
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| Jobs
@ Wanker |
| Are
you a jobless schmuck who stays at home watching old episodes
of Mr. Belvedere and Happy Days? If you can write, do some-thing
with your life, click here |
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